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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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Exhale

The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Oil

Sometimes I wish I could’ve been more
Often I wonder if I should’ve cared less
I’ll always think you’re out of my league
But today I know you’re still my favorite kiss

Sometimes I wish I could’ve been yours
Often I wonder if it just wasn’t our time
I always think I shouldn’t think of you
But today I know you won’t leave my mind

Sometimes I wish I could’ve seen the ending
Often I wonder if it’s really, truly over
I’ll always think I sabotaged things
But today I know you’re still hurting from her

Sometimes I wish you would’ve tried harder
Often I wonder if maybe you still care
I always think I should date other people
But today I know they’d never begin to compare

Sometimes I wish I could just give you up
Often I hope you’ll be there at my door
I’ll always think what we have is unfinished
But today I don’t think I should think anymore.

-The Dalema. December 29, 2016.

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The Girl Life Left Behind

I often wonder what happened to her
that mysterious girl with flawless skin

I wonder if she ran out chasing her dreams
traveling only the roads less taken

Did she find success and happiness?
Or did she wind up drowning in heartache?

Did she end up falling in love with herself?
Or were her insecurities too much to take?

I often find myself admiring her
that thin girl with a bright, shining smile

The way she wore her pride on her shoulders
how her carefree spirit ran wild

Her determination drew people in
she’d captivate those she’d walk passed

Her twinkling eyes would steal your heart
men found themselves lost in one glance

I often wonder what happened to her
that girl who couldn’t be stopped

Pictures are all that seem to be left
of the life of a girl life forgot

I stare at the image admiring her
how she radiated positivity

That girl, she’s a stranger to me now –
she’s the girl who I used to be.

  • The Dalema. December 28, 2016
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Wings Of Irony

It’s what happens
when you touch the wings
of a butterfly

Admire the beauty
but from a distance
or they’ll die.

  • The Dalema. December 28, 2016
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Wish Upon A Star

If dreams were like wishes
And wishes came true
You’d be healing me
And I’d be saving you

  • The Dalema. December 23, 2016
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Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”

– Maya Angelou –

Purposefully misspelled, I created ‘The Dalema’ from letters in my name. It’s a safe place for me to breathe. A place to unload the built-up and untold opinions, emotions, situations and short stories – the baggage I’ve been carrying around with me every day of my life.

I started writing when I was seven. I was on a plane for the first time, traveling from New York to Oregon with my grandma to visit my uncle. She gave me the gift of paper and my uncle gave me the gift of poetry. Together they gave me the gift of writing.

Escaping my body through the pen in my hand and camouflaging themselves as ink on stationary, I realized words had become my tears, my laughter – my screams. Only then did I realize I could start to understand my emotions if I wrote them down. Every day since, my life story has been accumulating on paper.

I’ve learned I’m a hopelessly romantic cynic, a realistic dreamer – a millennial with an old soul. I’m an outgoing introvert who’s insecurely confident. I’m a woman trying to be better than the girl I was meant to be.

Writing is the only way I know to lift the weight of the world off of my chest so I can breathe. The Dalema is my life. The Dalema is my story, untold. Follow along as I get through it – one post at a time.

  • The Dalema
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