The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be


Old habits die hard

Because they never die at all.

And unfortunately,

You’re habitual.

I do it on purpose

To remind me of the pain.

And every time it happens

I wish it never would again.

Old habits die hard

Because they never die at all

When I reach for the phone

You’re the one I call.

And you always answer

Even when you shouldn’t

And every time you do

My God, I wish you wouldn’t.

Old habits die hard

Because they never die at all

And even when I feel nothing

You’re habitual.

  • The Dalema. March 1, 2018.


My sheets still smell like him

That’s why I lay with you

And every time you bring us up

I don’t want you to

You want me to be the one

To make all your dreams come true

But I don’t even know myself

So how the hell can you?

I was always the one

Wanting ‘meant to be’

I don’t know what I want

And it keeps finding me

They’ve been everything I wanted

Everything I’ve dreamed

Then they tell me I’m the one

And I close down completely

So here you are like him

Falling in love with me

You’re absolutely perfect

Saying all the right things

And here I am again

Pushing love away

I don’t want to let you down

I wish that you could stay

But I’m just not ready

I now fear commitment

And everything I used to want

Is everything I resent.

  • The Dalema. February 12, 2018.

Empty Space

She used to be somebody

She used to be someone

Now in a crowded room

She still feels alone

She used to make money

She used to have fun

Now she keeps finding

Her past can’t be undone

She used to breath for life

She used to smile unforced

Now she feels empty

No way to find what’s lost.

⁃ The Dalema. January 22, 2018.

Balance beam.

Do you want to know what’s really hard?


Do you want to know what makes it all worth while?


  • The Dalema. January 2, 2018.

A Letter To You On New Years

To You,

A new year, a clean slate. The first day of the rest of your life. Time for change, resolutions and goals. People are challenging themselves to make this the best year of their lives.

There are a lot of things you could do differently this year. There are new trips to set, new people to meet, new memories to make. There are higher standards you could hold yourself to. You could read more, volunteer more, eat less pizza and drink more water. New year, new you – etc., etc.

With the new year and all the ways you could be different, there are so many things I hope you never change.

There are so many hopes I hope for you this year:

I hope you keep your heart open. In a world filled with cynics and haters, players and cheaters – I hope you keep hoping. I hope you keep loving. I hope you keep believing.

I hope you give yourself credit. With all the insecurities you allow yourself to believe, the defeat you’ve felt and all the heartache you’ve been through, I hope you give yourself credit for being so strong. You should be proud of the things you’ve been through, because you got through them. Stand tallbe proud of yourself. Give yourself credit. 

I hope you love yourself a little more every day. It amazes me the way you love others. The way you put yourself second to those hurting around you. The way helping them heal, helps you heal. If only you would love yourself the way you love those around youyour heart would be full – regardless of how broken and damaged it may seem.

I hope you keep smiling. Your smile is one of your most beautiful and captivating features. Your laugh is infectious. You light up the room. Keep smiling.

I hope you enjoy the moments. Celebrate the path you’re on. Enjoy where you arewith who you’re with. It’s easy to put yourself on a timeline. You do not need to be married because your friends are. You do not need to be single because your friends are. You do not need to have kids, or not have kids, because of what your family says or because your friends have or haven’t had them. You do not need to be or do anything other than the things on your current path. Do not put yourself down because youaren’t where you thought you would be’ at the age you’re at now. Enjoy the moments.

Most of all, I hope you allow yourself the happiness you deserve. You’re so kind and genuine. You always do whatever it takes to make those you love, and everyone around you, happy. You pray for the happiness of others. How about letting yourself be happy? How about you acknowledge you deserve happiness, too? I hope you learn you do deserve to be happy and happiness will find you – you just need to believe in it. 

With all the things you could do different this year, I hope you realize all the things you shouldn’t change.

Don’t forget to love yourself this yearfor who you are and where you’re at in your life, on your own timeline.

Wishing you love and happiness in 2018!

– The Dalema. December 31, 2016. (Republished December 31, 2016)

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