The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be



Balance beam.

Do you want to know what’s really hard?


Do you want to know what makes it all worth while?


  • The Dalema. January 2, 2018.

A Letter To You On New Years

To You,

A new year, a clean slate. The first day of the rest of your life. Time for change, resolutions and goals. People are challenging themselves to make this the best year of their lives.

There are a lot of things you could do differently this year. There are new trips to set, new people to meet, new memories to make. There are higher standards you could hold yourself to. You could read more, volunteer more, eat less pizza and drink more water. New year, new you – etc., etc.

With the new year and all the ways you could be different, there are so many things I hope you never change.

There are so many hopes I hope for you this year:

I hope you keep your heart open. In a world filled with cynics and haters, players and cheaters – I hope you keep hoping. I hope you keep loving. I hope you keep believing.

I hope you give yourself credit. With all the insecurities you allow yourself to believe, the defeat you’ve felt and all the heartache you’ve been through, I hope you give yourself credit for being so strong. You should be proud of the things you’ve been through, because you got through them. Stand tallbe proud of yourself. Give yourself credit. 

I hope you love yourself a little more every day. It amazes me the way you love others. The way you put yourself second to those hurting around you. The way helping them heal, helps you heal. If only you would love yourself the way you love those around youyour heart would be full – regardless of how broken and damaged it may seem.

I hope you keep smiling. Your smile is one of your most beautiful and captivating features. Your laugh is infectious. You light up the room. Keep smiling.

I hope you enjoy the moments. Celebrate the path you’re on. Enjoy where you arewith who you’re with. It’s easy to put yourself on a timeline. You do not need to be married because your friends are. You do not need to be single because your friends are. You do not need to have kids, or not have kids, because of what your family says or because your friends have or haven’t had them. You do not need to be or do anything other than the things on your current path. Do not put yourself down because youaren’t where you thought you would be’ at the age you’re at now. Enjoy the moments.

Most of all, I hope you allow yourself the happiness you deserve. You’re so kind and genuine. You always do whatever it takes to make those you love, and everyone around you, happy. You pray for the happiness of others. How about letting yourself be happy? How about you acknowledge you deserve happiness, too? I hope you learn you do deserve to be happy and happiness will find you – you just need to believe in it. 

With all the things you could do different this year, I hope you realize all the things you shouldn’t change.

Don’t forget to love yourself this yearfor who you are and where you’re at in your life, on your own timeline.

Wishing you love and happiness in 2018!

– The Dalema. December 31, 2016. (Republished December 31, 2016)

Ceramic Simmer

He didn’t care

Want her
Need her
Deserve her
Appreciate her

But she sat there


On the back burner.

  • The Dalema. May 28, 2017.


you’re tired.
your knees are sick of having to lift the weight of your body off the floor time and time again.
they never rest.
just when you think you’ve stood up straight.
just when you think you’ve improved your posture.
at the exact moment you actually feel taller – you’re thrown right back down.

you’re hurt.
your hands are cut up from those fragments, the broken pieces you find yourself dusting into a pile time and time again.
sometimes you try to grab them as they fall. but you’ve learned not to try and reach them before they land.

you’re weak.
your eyes cannot strain any longer. everything’s so blurry.
your eyes want to close.
the light has dimmed so much and yet, you keep staring at the pieces.
trying to glue them together just right. trying to make them seem like they were never broken.

each time.
each and every time you go through this; cutting your hands on those pieces, pulling yourself up off the floor and trying to put it all back together again – piece by piece. only to realize, you don’t remember what you started with.

this unbroken work of art you’ve hurt yourself over, lost sleep over – this masterpiece you’ve been killing yourself for day in and day out, over and over again – it’s unrecognizable.
all that remains is a tired, weak and broken fragment of whatever once was.
the pieces don’t fit together.
some are missing, most are damaged.
all are irreplicable.

whatever it was, whoever you were – you’ll never be again.
that girl, with flawless skin and the thrill of life in her eyes.
she’s gone.

  • The Dalema. December 8, 2016.

Why I Can’t Wait To Be 30

Here’s to my twenties
Here’s to the old me
Cheers to the end of a decade
Cheers to turning 30

Here’s to those years that broke me
Here’s to the years I found myself
Cheers to the friends who stuck around
And to those who let themselves out

Here’s to the lessons I’ve learned
Here’s to the love I found
Cheers to having happiness
When hope wasn’t around

Here’s to loving my body
Here’s to knowing my worth
Cheers to the mistakes I dated
And for never putting me first

Here’s to all the education
Here’s to student loans
Cheers to old careers
And the cars I used to own

Here’s to my first apartment
Here’s to my first home
Cheers to friends and family
For trusting me on my own

Here’s to societies expectations
Here’s to body image pressure
Cheers to no longer giving a fuck
About the size I measure

Here’s to all the heartbreak
Here’s to all the pain
Cheers to all the blessings
Cheers to the ‘might-have-been’s

Here’s to all the wrong paths
Here’s to all the dead ends
Cheers to finding where I’m meant to be
And knowing how to start again

Here’s to attempting adulthood
Here’s to Friday nights in
Cheers to enjoying the little things
Cheers to understanding who I am

Here’s to the end of an era
Here’s to ending insecurities
Cheers to going with the flow
I’m the best version of me

Cheers to all that’s in the past
The hardest years? They’re long gone!
Here’s to the end of my twenties –
The best is yet to come!

  • The Dalema. April 30, 2017.

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