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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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Reflection

Self Inflicted 

It’s beautiful
The way I bleed
And scab and itch and scar
And plead
All to rip open the wound
Again and again
My wounds, these marks
Are self inflicted

  • The Dalema.

All too often – and usually too soon – after a breakup, you might find yourself wondering what your ex is up to. It’s easy to torture yourself with questions and overthink things. Are they seeing someone else? Are they hurting? Do you cross their mind? Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or SnapChat, finding the answers can – unfortunately – be just a click away. I wrote this about a heartbreak; one that absolutely crushed my soul. A heartbreak that’s left a hole in my heart; like a scar that, even with time, doesn’t seem to heal.

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Deja Vu

Strangers –
Similarities, agreements, chatter
Acquaintances
Smiles, phone numbers, banter
Friends
Discussions, laughter, stories
Crushes
Kisses, moments, secrets
Dating
Excitement, happiness, memories
Relationship
Passion, intimacy, love
Lovers
Doubt, fear, insecurities
Relationship
Jealousy, hesitation, over-thinking
Dating
Tears, moments, what-if’s
Crushes
Pain, heartbreak, reality
Friends
Texts, likes, snap-views
Acquaintances
Time, distance, silence
Strangers

– Danyle L. M. 7/2/16

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Up, Up & Away

I’ve always deserved more than I’ve let life give me

I’m finally on the path to being the woman I was meant to be

I’m going to find her someday – and it’s going to be someday soon

I’m done sending all of my wishes up & off to the moon

– Danyle L. M. 5/26/16

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On a Clear Night, You Can See Forever

clear night skyI found myself outside at a patio bar – smoking an e-cigarette. Truth is, I’ve never smoked cigarettes but e-cigs are my thing. I’ve been smoking them for a little over two years – they calm my nerves. And in the dark on the patio, I found myself looking up into the clear night sky. I was praying – praying for God to lead me down the right path. I know the drunk feeling all too well. Drunk used to be my form of a Band-Aid to my life. My reason to forget the stress of my everyday, my reason to be able to hookup with whomever I wanted whenever I wanted, and my reason to be loud and inappropriate; things I can do just fine on my own while sober.

The truth is, I’ve had a lot of Band-Aids over the years. A lot of reasons not to face my struggles and the horrific details of my past: having those Band-Aids is what got me into trouble in January. January lead me to my pivotal moment. It lead me to the one man who changed my life forever. I don’t need pivotal moments anymore. I don’t need Band-Aids; I need me – in my clear right mind and I need God – God needs to help me choose the right path and help me go in the right direction.

So tonight, while on the patio looking up at the clear night sky, I prayed. I prayed to God to heal me – I prayed to God to lead me down the right path. I prayed to God, I begged him, to give me a new chapter. A chapter where I could be myself, the woman I’ve grown PROUD to be, a chapter where I don’t need to give a man my naked body to make him love my naked soul. I prayed to God for a clean slate. A slate where my past doesn’t hold me back and my heart isn’t cold. A path where I can love what I do, in a place that makes me feel like I’m home – a place where I can finally be myself; the woman I’m proud to be.

  • The Dalema. May 24, 2016.
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