It’s what happens
when you touch the wings
of a butterfly
Admire the beauty
but from a distance
or they’ll die.
- The Dalema. December 28, 2016
If dreams were like wishes
And wishes came true
You’d be healing me
And I’d be saving you
- The Dalema. December 23, 2016
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”
– Maya Angelou –
Purposefully misspelled, I created ‘The Dalema’ from letters in my name. It’s a safe place for me to breathe. A place to unload the built-up and untold opinions, emotions, situations and short stories – the baggage I’ve been carrying around with me every day of my life.
I started writing when I was seven. I was on a plane for the first time, traveling from New York to Oregon with my grandma to visit my uncle. She gave me the gift of paper and my uncle gave me the gift of poetry. Together they gave me the gift of writing.
Escaping my body through the pen in my hand and camouflaging themselves as ink on stationary, I realized words had become my tears, my laughter – my screams. Only then did I realize I could start to understand my emotions if I wrote them down. Every day since, my life story has been accumulating on paper.
I’ve learned I’m a hopelessly romantic cynic, a realistic dreamer – a millennial with an old soul. I’m an outgoing introvert who’s insecurely confident. I’m a woman trying to be better than the girl I was meant to be.
Writing is the only way I know to lift the weight of the world off of my chest so I can breathe. The Dalema is my life. The Dalema is my story, untold. Follow along as I get through it – one post at a time.
- The Dalema
I used to fold my underwear
Match the linens line by line
It took a lot of time and patience
But it made me feel organized
I used to roll the windows down
Music playing, wind in my hair
I was never late or in a hurry
Nothing but smiles, no worries or cares
I used to plan out everything
Outfits, trips and my future goals
I could do anything I set my mind to
Go anywhere I wanted to go
I used to trust being ‘good’ was enough
What you give is what you receive
Keep the faith and forget the rest
Happiness would find its way to me
I used to think I’d make a difference
Leave my mark on the world someday
Changing lives and spreading love –
No one would ever forget my name
I used to believe in the believing
Winners don’t quit, cheaters never win
Love yourself and love will find you
Everything happens for a reason
Life has done so much it’s changed me –
Challenges, struggles, loss and pain
And I used to fold my underwear
But I don’t think I ever will again.
- The Dalema. December 7, 2016
Another sleepless night
My sight is black and white
Life in grey isn’t right
Out of mind, out of sight.
- The Dalema. September, 2016
The Dalema 