I need a lot less
in this life than the less
I already have.
But I deserve a lot more
than the more that
I’ve received.
I feel so much more
than I ever really
wanted to.
But here I am praying
I could be the one
to save you.
And of all the things
I have, I’ve lost
or have known.
The one thing
that always remains
is everything goes.
The tailgating, sunshine and summer breeze
The ice cold beer running through me
We walked in, you had your hand in mine
That summer day – I think of it all the time
The way the bass pumped through my chest
The pictures we took, so we wouldn’t forget
Dancing to the guitar, your hands wandering
Our bodies lost in ‘Pour some sugar on me’
Like the sounds blasting from the speakers
The memory is still ringing in my ears
I’ll keep craving you and I can’t comprehend
How you cut us off like that concert wristband.
What it’s come down to is
wondering if
the toothbrush is still there
in the drawer
waiting for my return
Or
Did you toss it away
throw it in the trash
it was for travel after all
I’d still hoped
you would have kept it
just incase
Or
It was kept accidentally
an afterthought
due to this poetry
and now you don’t know what to do
keep it, trash it
it’s up to you
But I hope it’s still there
and I hope someday I’ll find out
when I open the drawer
and have to use it myself.
Sometimes I wish I could’ve been more
Often I wonder if I should’ve cared less
I’ll always think you’re out of my league
But today I know you’re still my favorite kiss
Sometimes I wish I could’ve been yours
Often I wonder if it just wasn’t our time
I always think I shouldn’t think of you
But today I know you won’t leave my mind
Sometimes I wish I could’ve seen the ending
Often I wonder if it’s really, truly over
I’ll always think I sabotaged things
But today I know you’re still hurting from her
Sometimes I wish you would’ve tried harder
Often I wonder if maybe you still care
I always think I should date other people
But today I know they’d never begin to compare
Sometimes I wish I could just give you up
Often I hope you’ll be there at my door
I’ll always think what we have is unfinished
But today I don’t think I should think anymore.
-The Dalema. December 29, 2016.
I often wonder what happened to her
that mysterious girl with flawless skin
I wonder if she ran out chasing her dreams
traveling only the roads less taken
Did she find success and happiness?
Or did she wind up drowning in heartache?
Did she end up falling in love with herself?
Or were her insecurities too much to take?
I often find myself admiring her
that thin girl with a bright, shining smile
The way she wore her pride on her shoulders
how her carefree spirit ran wild
Her determination drew people in
she’d captivate those she’d walk passed
Her twinkling eyes would steal your heart
men found themselves lost in one glance
I often wonder what happened to her
that girl who couldn’t be stopped
Pictures are all that seem to be left
of the life of a girl life forgot
I stare at the image admiring her
how she radiated positivity
That girl, she’s a stranger to me now –
she’s the girl who I used to be.
The Dalema 