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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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unexpected

Happy Moonshine

I wish I could bottle up this feeling!!

I’d put it in an old teal mason jar and keep it in my pantry. Then, on days I feel lost or sad, I could take shots of it like moonshine.

I am so incredibly happy to be engaged to my best friend, a man who has never once made me feel insecure. Someone who is everything I never knew I always wanted.

It’s cliche to say but love doesn’t find you when you’re looking. It’s never what you’re looking for. Love comes at a time when you find yourself not wanting it at all – sometimes even when you’re avoiding it. There were no games, no moments where I had to filter who I was or hide my personality.

My love found me when I no longer believed in it. When I thought I was too set in my ways. Love found me in the form of laughter, long conversations ending with “you hang up first” and, even though he will never admit it, we knew from the first date that we were it. This was the real thing.

It’s not always easy but it is worth it!!

I’d go through it all again, only sooner if I knew the broken roads would lead me here. I am so so so so very happy!!

I love someone who loves me back and I get to spend as much time as God intends on this earth with him. For the first time in my entire life, I have no questions. I have no doubts. At this moment I am blissfully happy.

I wish I could put this feeling in an old teal mason jar and put it in my pantry, and on my bad days where I feel lost and sad, I’d take shots of it like moonshine.

A Letter To You On New Years

To You,

A new year, a clean slate. The first day of the rest of your life. Time for change, resolutions and goals. People are challenging themselves to make this the best year of their lives.

There are a lot of things you could do differently this year. There are new trips to set, new people to meet, new memories to make. There are higher standards you could hold yourself to. You could read more, volunteer more, eat less pizza and drink more water. New year, new you – etc., etc.

With the new year and all the ways you could be different, there are so many things I hope you never change.

There are so many hopes I hope for you this year:

I hope you keep your heart open. In a world filled with cynics and haters, players and cheaters – I hope you keep hoping. I hope you keep loving. I hope you keep believing.

I hope you give yourself credit. With all the insecurities you allow yourself to believe, the defeat you’ve felt and all the heartache you’ve been through, I hope you give yourself credit for being so strong. You should be proud of the things you’ve been through, because you got through them. Stand tallbe proud of yourself. Give yourself credit. 

I hope you love yourself a little more every day. It amazes me the way you love others. The way you put yourself second to those hurting around you. The way helping them heal, helps you heal. If only you would love yourself the way you love those around youyour heart would be full – regardless of how broken and damaged it may seem.

I hope you keep smiling. Your smile is one of your most beautiful and captivating features. Your laugh is infectious. You light up the room. Keep smiling.

I hope you enjoy the moments. Celebrate the path you’re on. Enjoy where you arewith who you’re with. It’s easy to put yourself on a timeline. You do not need to be married because your friends are. You do not need to be single because your friends are. You do not need to have kids, or not have kids, because of what your family says or because your friends have or haven’t had them. You do not need to be or do anything other than the things on your current path. Do not put yourself down because youaren’t where you thought you would be’ at the age you’re at now. Enjoy the moments.

Most of all, I hope you allow yourself the happiness you deserve. You’re so kind and genuine. You always do whatever it takes to make those you love, and everyone around you, happy. You pray for the happiness of others. How about letting yourself be happy? How about you acknowledge you deserve happiness, too? I hope you learn you do deserve to be happy and happiness will find you – you just need to believe in it. 

With all the things you could do different this year, I hope you realize all the things you shouldn’t change.

Don’t forget to love yourself this yearfor who you are and where you’re at in your life, on your own timeline.

Wishing you love and happiness in 2018!

– The Dalema. December 31, 2016. (Republished December 31, 2016)

The Disposable Toothbrush

What it’s come down to is
wondering if
the toothbrush is still there
in the drawer
waiting for my return

Or

Did you toss it away
throw it in the trash
it was for travel after all
I’d still hoped
you would have kept it
just incase

Or

It was kept accidentally
an afterthought
due to this poetry
and now you don’t know what to do
keep it, trash it
it’s up to you

But I hope it’s still there
and I hope someday I’ll find out
when I open the drawer
and have to use it myself.

  • The Dalema. December 31, 2016.

When The Ball Drops

The clock strikes 12
Fireworks light the sky
In the background, ‘Auld Lang Syne’

I want to kiss you
You want to kiss her
He wants to kiss me

Wishing for wishes
Things we can’t have –
Happy New Years Eve

– The Dalema. December 31, 2016

Endless Possibilities 

No matter how impossible it may seem,
It’s never too late to be the girl of your own dreams.
– The Dalema. December 29, 2016

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