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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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Overthinking

Half-mast

The past is the past, but it’s hard not to carry it into your future. Just because someone did you wrong in a certain situation doesn’t mean a new person, in a similar situation, is going to do you wrong the same way. That’s what’s hard – dealing with the triggers. Noticing those red flags from before, the ones you should have seen. But now, however, they might be white flags – hell, they might not even be flags at all. They could be nothing, but our triggers might disagree and say they could be everything.

I know it’s hard not to panic when you care for someone. I know it’s hard to talk your mind out of thinking the worst. But try. Try with everything you have. Because the alarms that go off when you see those red flags could be a reason the person you care about starts having red flags about you.

Your overthinking could sabotage your current situation. You’re building something up in your mind based on what someone else did – not what this person is doing. This person isn’t that person. He isn’t him. You aren’t the same person you were back then. If he’s worth it, he will see that. If not, as hard as it hurts, it just isn’t meant to be.

So breathe. Put your mind at ease. Allow yourself a chance at happiness. Forget the flags. Your past is the past. Don’t let it destroy your future.

  • The Dalema. April 1, 2018.
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Exhales & Endeavors

Hold me for a minute
Please don’t let me go
Squeeze my body tightly
I’ll heal your hurting soul

Let me feel your warmth
My head rests on your chest
I’m buried in your scent
Our worried thoughts can rest

Let the tips of your fingers
Trace along my naked back
Kiss the top of my forehead
Then rest your head on that

Our breathing patterns sync
As our hearts beat together
Sit in the silence for a moment
A moment we can treasure

Then as you release me
Your warmth’s lost in the wind
I cannot feel your heartbeat
Sweet silence starts to end

The weight of my mind is heavy
Your tender kiss has disappeared
Then when I look up –
I realize you weren’t here

I was lost in a moment
A memory I wish I had
It was just a daydream of you
I had conjured up in my head

Goosebumps on my arm
My body starts to shiver
You were never mine
Another lost endeavor

  • Danyle L. M.

Right Now

Right now I’m not looking, I’m not hoping – I’m just living. One day at a time, one feeling at a time. If I think I want to do something, I’ll do it. If I don’t, I won’t.

No regrets, no over thinking, no self-judgment. I’m going to allow my life to happen and I’m going to control it. My chances are my choices and things will happen because I’ll want them to. But I won’t be broken – not again. I won’t care for someone until they work for it and earn it. I’m not just going to give my care away anymore.

-Danyle L. M. (2016)

The Brain Is A Ticking Time Bomb

We were in a good place
Now I’m staring at this empty space
Wondering what to do

You said to slow things down
But whenever you’re not around
Doubt takes over me

Everything we’ve had
Friendship that should last
I don’t want to lose it

Time cannot measure
What we’ve got together
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been

Do I make you laugh?
Forget about your past?
Can you see your life without me?

I’m trying hard here
Slowing down for you, but in fear
Fear of losing us

You’re pulling back from me
Bunker’s locked, you took the key
If I knock, please let me in

Remember every conversation,
It felt right without hesitation
Let me into your heart

I know you’re afraid
We have lost our way
But we can find another path

Take a slower pace
Love is not a race
Yet here I am competing

I’m standing still this time
I can’t make you change your mind
But I do hope that I cross it

I am wonderful
You are vulnerable
Let’s lean on eachother

This is worth the wait
Stop questioning fate
Let’s cast our worries aside

Stop your overthinking
The brain’s a bomb that’s ticking
My heart will be the casualty

Trust in God. Trust in us
Trust the warmth of my touch
Trust the smile I give you

One step at a time
Because I’m losing my mind
At the thought of losing you

-DLM 3/31/16

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