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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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A Letter To You On New Years

To You,

A new year, a clean slate. The first day of the rest of your life. Time for change, resolutions and goals. People are challenging themselves to make this the best year of their lives.

There are a lot of things you could do differently this year. There are new trips to set, new people to meet, new memories to make. There are higher standards you could hold yourself to. You could read more, volunteer more, eat less pizza and drink more water. New year, new you – etc., etc.

With the new year and all the ways you could be different, there are so many things I hope you never change.

There are so many hopes I hope for you this year:

I hope you keep your heart open. In a world filled with cynics and haters, players and cheaters – I hope you keep hoping. I hope you keep loving. I hope you keep believing.

I hope you give yourself credit. With all the insecurities you allow yourself to believe, the defeat you’ve felt and all the heartache you’ve been through, I hope you give yourself credit for being so strong. You should be proud of the things you’ve been through, because you got through them. Stand tallbe proud of yourself. Give yourself credit. 

I hope you love yourself a little more every day. It amazes me the way you love others. The way you put yourself second to those hurting around you. The way helping them heal, helps you heal. If only you would love yourself the way you love those around youyour heart would be full – regardless of how broken and damaged it may seem.

I hope you keep smiling. Your smile is one of your most beautiful and captivating features. Your laugh is infectious. You light up the room. Keep smiling.

I hope you enjoy the moments. Celebrate the path you’re on. Enjoy where you arewith who you’re with. It’s easy to put yourself on a timeline. You do not need to be married because your friends are. You do not need to be single because your friends are. You do not need to have kids, or not have kids, because of what your family says or because your friends have or haven’t had them. You do not need to be or do anything other than the things on your current path. Do not put yourself down because youaren’t where you thought you would be’ at the age you’re at now. Enjoy the moments.

Most of all, I hope you allow yourself the happiness you deserve. You’re so kind and genuine. You always do whatever it takes to make those you love, and everyone around you, happy. You pray for the happiness of others. How about letting yourself be happy? How about you acknowledge you deserve happiness, too? I hope you learn you do deserve to be happy and happiness will find you – you just need to believe in it. 

With all the things you could do different this year, I hope you realize all the things you shouldn’t change.

Don’t forget to love yourself this yearfor who you are and where you’re at in your life, on your own timeline.

Wishing you love and happiness in 2018!

– The Dalema. December 31, 2016. (Republished December 31, 2016)

Sticky Sweet

The tailgating, sunshine and summer breeze
The ice cold beer running through me
We walked in, you had your hand in mine
That summer day – I think of it all the time

The way the bass pumped through my chest
The pictures we took, so we wouldn’t forget
Dancing to the guitar, your hands wandering
Our bodies lost in ‘Pour some sugar on me’

Like the sounds blasting from the speakers
The memory is still ringing in my ears
I’ll keep craving you and I can’t comprehend
How you cut us off like that concert wristband.

  • The Dalema. January 5, 2017.

The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Oil

Sometimes I wish I could’ve been more
Often I wonder if I should’ve cared less
I’ll always think you’re out of my league
But today I know you’re still my favorite kiss

Sometimes I wish I could’ve been yours
Often I wonder if it just wasn’t our time
I always think I shouldn’t think of you
But today I know you won’t leave my mind

Sometimes I wish I could’ve seen the ending
Often I wonder if it’s really, truly over
I’ll always think I sabotaged things
But today I know you’re still hurting from her

Sometimes I wish you would’ve tried harder
Often I wonder if maybe you still care
I always think I should date other people
But today I know they’d never begin to compare

Sometimes I wish I could just give you up
Often I hope you’ll be there at my door
I’ll always think what we have is unfinished
But today I don’t think I should think anymore.

-The Dalema. December 29, 2016.

Wish Upon A Star

If dreams were like wishes
And wishes came true
You’d be healing me
And I’d be saving you

  • The Dalema. December 23, 2016

Dear John

Dec. 1, 2016

Dear John,

These letters are written – have been written – to end relationships. They’ve been used as goodbyes. This letter, my letter Dear John, is the opposite. This letter is the only way I know how to ask you to come back. The only way I know how to tell you I need you in my life. The only way for me to know that you know I’m right here.

Every day – that’s how often you cross my mind. When something good happens I want to tell you. When something bad happens I want your advice. When something makes me laugh, I want you to experience my smile. The smile that used to be a reason behind yours. Every day I wonder how you are, what you’re doing and if you’re hurting. Not because of me, of course, but because of reasons beyond your control. Every day is another day I want to be there for you.

Dear John, please know you matter to me. You made me feel normal, wanted – beautiful and confident. You gave those gifts to me just by being you. I can’t explain it but you were my lucky charm. I felt my best knowing you were just a phone call or short drive away. I felt happiness knowing I’d see you again. You always had a way of logically reasoning with me. Making sense of things I’ve never been able to make sense of. You were the calm in my life’s storms. I miss that, I miss you. I miss our friendship. Whatever we were, whatever we weren’t – that’s all I want and I only want it with you.

So, Dear John, this letter isn’t a goodbye – it’s a plead. It’s me asking for my chance back. It’s me asking for you. Whatever’s left of you is more than enough for me.

Yours,

D

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