The clock strikes 12
Fireworks light the sky
In the background, ‘Auld Lang Syne’
I want to kiss you
You want to kiss her
He wants to kiss me
Wishing for wishes
Things we can’t have –
Happy New Years Eve
– The Dalema. December 31, 2016
No matter how impossible it may seem,
It’s never too late to be the girl of your own dreams.
– The Dalema. December 29, 2016
Dec. 1, 2016
Dear John,
These letters are written – have been written – to end relationships. They’ve been used as goodbyes. This letter, my letter Dear John, is the opposite. This letter is the only way I know how to ask you to come back. The only way I know how to tell you I need you in my life. The only way for me to know that you know I’m right here.
Every day – that’s how often you cross my mind. When something good happens I want to tell you. When something bad happens I want your advice. When something makes me laugh, I want you to experience my smile. The smile that used to be a reason behind yours. Every day I wonder how you are, what you’re doing and if you’re hurting. Not because of me, of course, but because of reasons beyond your control. Every day is another day I want to be there for you.
Dear John, please know you matter to me. You made me feel normal, wanted – beautiful and confident. You gave those gifts to me just by being you. I can’t explain it but you were my lucky charm. I felt my best knowing you were just a phone call or short drive away. I felt happiness knowing I’d see you again. You always had a way of logically reasoning with me. Making sense of things I’ve never been able to make sense of. You were the calm in my life’s storms. I miss that, I miss you. I miss our friendship. Whatever we were, whatever we weren’t – that’s all I want and I only want it with you.
So, Dear John, this letter isn’t a goodbye – it’s a plead. It’s me asking for my chance back. It’s me asking for you. Whatever’s left of you is more than enough for me.
Yours,
D
I want to say something
and I probably shouldn’t –
but I’m gonna
One day I woke up
I found myself wanting –
to be someone’s
I wanted to try something
because they told me –
‘you never know’
So I tried my best
I gave my all –
I held hope
I didn’t expect to feel
so much, so soon –
anything for anyone
Yet there I was hoping
he would heal me –
mend my broken
I thought it was something
or should I say –
I was someone’s
He made me trust him
think we were different –
like we belonged
Somehow he made it stop
my fear of heartbreak –
fear of loss
Somehow I found the strength
to be only myself –
because of ‘us’
I’ve wanted to say more
and I probably shouldn’t –
so I don’t
But I found myself praying
I woke up wishing –
there was hope
Although he decided to leave
and I’m still hurting –
I’m not afraid
I found myself missing him
and he should know –
it is ok
I need to say something
I’ve kept a secret –
but I’ll share
I once woke up smiling
thinking he might stop –
thinking of her
I may have some regrets
and I won’t mention –
he should’ve stayed
Of course I’d be lying
if I denied wishing –
somewhere, somehow, someday
I will tell you something
and I probably shouldn’t –
but I’m gonna
Today I woke up thinking
I found myself wanting –
to be someone’s
Someone who could love me
somewhere safe and warm –
sometime very soon
But the somehow was missing
the somewhere was missing –
He. Someone. You.
- The Dalema. October 31, 2016.
and still
with every text I get
and
every unknown number
I still
feel a glimpse of hope
and
then begin to wonder
if we
could have made it work
or
should have even tried
if I
meant a thing to you
or
ever cross your mind
but I
can’t compete with her
and
I don’t care to try
yet you
put me in your bed
and
let me in your life
just to
say you weren’t ready
and
you should have known better
yet I
wouldn’t take it back
and
hope you wouldn’t either
and still
every unknown number
and
every text I hear
I still
feel a glimpse of hope
and
then hope disappears.
- The Dalema, 10.27.16
The Dalema 