With all the challenges
I’ve been through
and all the struggles
I’ve seen
no matter what I refuse to believe
A dream is just a dream.
- The Dalema. November 19, 2016
Here I am
Thinking of you
Again
Wishing you’d have
Saved me
From him
Had you been here
In my life
He wouldn’t have
Here I am
Wishing for you
Wanting us back
This is my plea
My last cry
For help
Please show me
Say something –
Reach out
This is my
Final cry
For you
Show me somehow
Say anything –
Soon.
- The Dalema. November 15, 2016
You were like a fine wine
I couldn’t afford
And every time I saw the bottle
It made me want it more
I could see you in my glass
The mood set by candlelight
Scared of what I knew was coming
I told myself ‘afford it tonight’
Tell the server to leave the cork
Then swirl, inhale – take a sip
Close my eyes and let them rest
Indulging in the lusciousness
Getting lost in the shades of grape
Tracing the rim with my fingertips
Before I knew it the bottle was empty –
Leaving purple stains on my lips
- The Dalema. November 6, 2016
I sat there
Staring at the screen
Reading every thing
Reading you walk away
Knowing
There was nothing I could do
Nothing I could say
But I tried
Begging you, calling you
Convincing you
There was no convincing
You made up your mind
You closed off your heart
And I was –
Vulnerable
Disposable
Left behind
The rejection of it all
No matter what you say,
I wasn’t enough
Enough to make you stay
‘It has nothing to do with you
Everything to do with me’
That’s what you said
That’s what you’d say
When I’d beg and plead
Trying to convince you
And maybe even
Trying to convince me
- The Dalema. November 6, 2016
Five words. You said them once and you’ve never meant them more.
It was a Monday night turning into Tuesday.
Tuesday – the last day I’d ever see you.
They meant so much to me. I didn’t know they could mean so much more.
I didn’t know until now.
You said the words, “I really do miss you”.
I knew you meant it.
I was missing you too, of course. Like always.
I was always the one to miss you – you could be in the other room and I’d crave your touch.
I’d crave your kisses. I’d miss your presence.
But for the first time, you said those five words.
I felt missed by you. Wanted by you.
I finally earned a place in your thoughts.
I took up a small corner of your mind.
A corner she no longer kept.
The next day was the best day I’d ever have with you.
So simple. So normal. For me, it was perfect.
Nothing extravagant. Grocery shopping.
We cooked together.
Fooled around in the kitchen.
We enjoyed each other’s company and then fell asleep in each other’s arms.
I’ll never forget what you said when we woke up, “You’re so addicting.”
I’ve held on to those words.
Those last moments – our last cuddles.
Had I known that was our last kiss, I would have held it longer.
Had I known that was our last embrace, I would have left a trail of kisses on your jawline.
An extra squeeze around your waste.
An extra gaze into your eyes.
I can’t hold on to your kiss.
Time won’t let me hold the corner of your mind – the one I know she’s reclaimed.
Your memory might not remember the way our hands and lips fit or the way I cooked for you.
Your amusement when I kept the produce bag next to the cutting board as a garbage –
the same thing you did.
You’ve moved on from the addiction of our embrace – the perfect spoon.
How my head fit on your chest.
The deep sleep we fell into together.
So here I am, on a Monday night turning into Tuesday.
I didn’t know it then, but I know now.
There are five words you said that will always mean the most to me.
I realize I’ll never hear you say them to me again.
You said, “I really do miss you”.
- The Dalema. October 24, 2016.
The Dalema 