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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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Insecure Space

There’s a space in my mind

Where my insecurities lie

I keep them all inside

They taunt me sometimes

There’s a place in my soul

Where my insecurities go

They travel lonely roads

Where I’ve been before

There’s a space inside my heart

Where my insecurities start

They lay there in the dark

Trying to tear us apart

There’s a space in my mind

Where my insecurities lie

They say you’ll change your mind

And you’ll leave me behind

There’s a place inside my soul

Begging you not to go

Filled with sadness I have known

Without you I’m alone

There’s a part inside my heart

That’s fighting with my soul

And the insecurities of my mind

They’re tearing me up inside.

  • The Dalema. April 28, 2019.
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A Letter To You On New Years

To You,

A new year, a clean slate. The first day of the rest of your life. Time for change, resolutions and goals. People are challenging themselves to make this the best year of their lives.

There are a lot of things you could do differently this year. There are new trips to set, new people to meet, new memories to make. There are higher standards you could hold yourself to. You could read more, volunteer more, eat less pizza and drink more water. New year, new you – etc., etc.

With the new year and all the ways you could be different, there are so many things I hope you never change.

There are so many hopes I hope for you this year:

I hope you keep your heart open. In a world filled with cynics and haters, players and cheaters – I hope you keep hoping. I hope you keep loving. I hope you keep believing.

I hope you give yourself credit. With all the insecurities you allow yourself to believe, the defeat you’ve felt and all the heartache you’ve been through, I hope you give yourself credit for being so strong. You should be proud of the things you’ve been through, because you got through them. Stand tallbe proud of yourself. Give yourself credit. 

I hope you love yourself a little more every day. It amazes me the way you love others. The way you put yourself second to those hurting around you. The way helping them heal, helps you heal. If only you would love yourself the way you love those around youyour heart would be full – regardless of how broken and damaged it may seem.

I hope you keep smiling. Your smile is one of your most beautiful and captivating features. Your laugh is infectious. You light up the room. Keep smiling.

I hope you enjoy the moments. Celebrate the path you’re on. Enjoy where you arewith who you’re with. It’s easy to put yourself on a timeline. You do not need to be married because your friends are. You do not need to be single because your friends are. You do not need to have kids, or not have kids, because of what your family says or because your friends have or haven’t had them. You do not need to be or do anything other than the things on your current path. Do not put yourself down because youaren’t where you thought you would be’ at the age you’re at now. Enjoy the moments.

Most of all, I hope you allow yourself the happiness you deserve. You’re so kind and genuine. You always do whatever it takes to make those you love, and everyone around you, happy. You pray for the happiness of others. How about letting yourself be happy? How about you acknowledge you deserve happiness, too? I hope you learn you do deserve to be happy and happiness will find you – you just need to believe in it. 

With all the things you could do different this year, I hope you realize all the things you shouldn’t change.

Don’t forget to love yourself this yearfor who you are and where you’re at in your life, on your own timeline.

Wishing you love and happiness in 2018!

– The Dalema. December 31, 2016. (Republished December 31, 2016)

Egorexia

Something I’ve learned
that always holds true,
‘proud of you’ means nothing
if you’re not proud of you, too.

  • The Dalema. January 11, 2017.

© Photo credit Brittany Hensel Photography

Sticky Sweet

The tailgating, sunshine and summer breeze
The ice cold beer running through me
We walked in, you had your hand in mine
That summer day – I think of it all the time

The way the bass pumped through my chest
The pictures we took, so we wouldn’t forget
Dancing to the guitar, your hands wandering
Our bodies lost in ‘Pour some sugar on me’

Like the sounds blasting from the speakers
The memory is still ringing in my ears
I’ll keep craving you and I can’t comprehend
How you cut us off like that concert wristband.

  • The Dalema. January 5, 2017.

Time Marches On

Moments away from the end,
the beginning of all the pain
Minutes away from losing
all the love we ever made
Seconds away from the silence
that’ll cut deeper than a knife
It’s time for me to tell you
I’m walking out of your life

Moments away from a change
that we can’t ever change back
Minutes away from falling
out of a love you no longer have
Seconds away from the laughter
that hides your initial shock
It’s time for me to love myself
for all the reasons you could not

Moments away from losing me,
you won’t fight for me to stay
Minutes away from saying
the words I never thought I’d say
Seconds away from leaving
the life I fought to build behind
It’s time you see you waited too long –
now we’re out of time.

  • The Dalema. February 2, 2009.

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