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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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broken

Remnants

you’re tired.
your knees are sick of having to lift the weight of your body off the floor time and time again.
they never rest.
just when you think you’ve stood up straight.
just when you think you’ve improved your posture.
at the exact moment you actually feel taller – you’re thrown right back down.

you’re hurt.
your hands are cut up from those fragments, the broken pieces you find yourself dusting into a pile time and time again.
sometimes you try to grab them as they fall. but you’ve learned not to try and reach them before they land.

you’re weak.
your eyes cannot strain any longer. everything’s so blurry.
your eyes want to close.
the light has dimmed so much and yet, you keep staring at the pieces.
trying to glue them together just right. trying to make them seem like they were never broken.

each time.
each and every time you go through this; cutting your hands on those pieces, pulling yourself up off the floor and trying to put it all back together again – piece by piece. only to realize, you don’t remember what you started with.

this unbroken work of art you’ve hurt yourself over, lost sleep over – this masterpiece you’ve been killing yourself for day in and day out, over and over again – it’s unrecognizable.
all that remains is a tired, weak and broken fragment of whatever once was.
the pieces don’t fit together.
some are missing, most are damaged.
all are irreplicable.

whatever it was, whoever you were – you’ll never be again.
that girl, with flawless skin and the thrill of life in her eyes.
she’s gone.

  • The Dalema. December 8, 2016.
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Beyond Repair

You can’t fix her,
No one can.
It’s not your fault
You’re just one man.

She tried to play,
Tried to pretend
The damage is done
No making amends.

Walk away now –
Don’t look in the rearview.
You can’t fix her
You’re not super glue.

She’s far past
The lost and found.
There’s no repairing
What’s long gone now.

  • The Dalema. November 13, 2016

A Made Up Mind

I sat there
Staring at the screen
Reading every thing

Reading you walk away
Knowing
There was nothing I could do
Nothing I could say

But I tried
Begging you, calling you
Convincing you
There was no convincing

You made up your mind
You closed off your heart
And I was –
Vulnerable
Disposable
Left behind

The rejection of it all
No matter what you say,
I wasn’t enough
Enough to make you stay

‘It has nothing to do with you
Everything to do with me’
That’s what you said
That’s what you’d say

When I’d beg and plead
Trying to convince you
And maybe even
Trying to convince me

  • The Dalema. November 6, 2016

Don’t Cut Yourself On Broken Pieces

I was broken before him
I’ll be broken after you
Maybe broken is my beautiful
And I’m meant to stay unglued

  • The Dalema (10.10.16)

The Death Of An Overthought Love

And it broke my heart to think that I was no longer in yours.

– DLM 4/11/16

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