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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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Half-mast

The past is the past, but it’s hard not to carry it into your future. Just because someone did you wrong in a certain situation doesn’t mean a new person, in a similar situation, is going to do you wrong the same way. That’s what’s hard – dealing with the triggers. Noticing those red flags from before, the ones you should have seen. But now, however, they might be white flags – hell, they might not even be flags at all. They could be nothing, but our triggers might disagree and say they could be everything.

I know it’s hard not to panic when you care for someone. I know it’s hard to talk your mind out of thinking the worst. But try. Try with everything you have. Because the alarms that go off when you see those red flags could be a reason the person you care about starts having red flags about you.

Your overthinking could sabotage your current situation. You’re building something up in your mind based on what someone else did – not what this person is doing. This person isn’t that person. He isn’t him. You aren’t the same person you were back then. If he’s worth it, he will see that. If not, as hard as it hurts, it just isn’t meant to be.

So breathe. Put your mind at ease. Allow yourself a chance at happiness. Forget the flags. Your past is the past. Don’t let it destroy your future.

  • The Dalema. April 1, 2018.

Vice

Old habits die hard

Because they never die at all.

And unfortunately,

You’re habitual.

I do it on purpose

To remind me of the pain.

And every time it happens

I wish it never would again.

Old habits die hard

Because they never die at all

When I reach for the phone

You’re the one I call.

And you always answer

Even when you shouldn’t

And every time you do

My God, I wish you wouldn’t.

Old habits die hard

Because they never die at all

And even when I feel nothing

You’re habitual.

  • The Dalema. March 1, 2018.

Balance beam.

Do you want to know what’s really hard?

Life.

Do you want to know what makes it all worth while?

Living.

  • The Dalema. January 2, 2018.

Arraignment

Days go by

Things remain

Nothing lost

Nothing gained

Feelings stay

Never changing

Failure plays

Rearranging

Lost astray

Cast aside

Life replays

Every night

Wondering why

Failure stays

Nothing lost

Nothing gained.

The Dalema. December 21, 2017.

Faded

As the days passed by
Happiness fading, in and out
Nothing could stay, nothing would –
Unless she loved herself.

  • The Dalema. September 11, 2017.

Once Bitten Twice Shy

You said something
During our final goodbye
It made me think –
Made me understand why

Why we would always fly
But never land
Why you’d break each promise
Now I understand

See, loyalty
It isn’t your thing
And commitment?
It burns you and stings

And the words you said
Made my eyes open up
You spoke the truth
And called your own bluff

And the words you said
Showed me the truth
The man I knew –
He wasn’t you

The truth you spoke
Should have broken my heart
But I already knew
And I already broke

I see you for you –
The real man, the real guy
Now I understand
Once bitten, twice shy.

  • The Dalema. August 29, 2017.

Shadows In The Light

She knew
They were lies
She knew
The truth

She knew
She deserved more
But still
It was you

She knew
What it was
She knew
What it wasn’t

She saw
Everything in your eyes
She knew
She was nothing

She kept on
Giving her body
She kept on
Cold as stone

And she knew
When she walked away
You’d know
She was gone.

  • The Dalema. August 8, 2017.

Creature Of The Night

It was a furry creature by day
Predator by night
It would cuddle and smile
Only in daylight

But when the sun would set
And the moon would glow
She knew if she let it
It would steal her soul

Getting lost in the daytime
A creature to be kept
Maybe she should keep it –
Could love it like a pet

But the day ends in night
It’s a creature of the dawn
Just passing through her woods
Somewhere it didn’t belong

And she let the creature go
Knowing it would devour her
She couldn’t hold on to it
It was the happiness inside of her

So she held onto pain
And all things predictable
It was just happiness –
Just a stranger after all.

  • The Dalema. July 12, 2017.

Late Nights

Late nights
Happy endings
They call it lust –
It’s love pretending

Secrets kept
Deleted texted
They call it passion
But they forget

Passion fades
Hearts break
Torn between
Regret and mistake

Late nights
Happy endings
They call it lust –
It’s love pretending.

  • The Dalema. June 22, 2017.

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