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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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A Piece of My Heart

Half-mast

The past is the past, but it’s hard not to carry it into your future. Just because someone did you wrong in a certain situation doesn’t mean a new person, in a similar situation, is going to do you wrong the same way. That’s what’s hard – dealing with the triggers. Noticing those red flags from before, the ones you should have seen. But now, however, they might be white flags – hell, they might not even be flags at all. They could be nothing, but our triggers might disagree and say they could be everything.

I know it’s hard not to panic when you care for someone. I know it’s hard to talk your mind out of thinking the worst. But try. Try with everything you have. Because the alarms that go off when you see those red flags could be a reason the person you care about starts having red flags about you.

Your overthinking could sabotage your current situation. You’re building something up in your mind based on what someone else did – not what this person is doing. This person isn’t that person. He isn’t him. You aren’t the same person you were back then. If he’s worth it, he will see that. If not, as hard as it hurts, it just isn’t meant to be.

So breathe. Put your mind at ease. Allow yourself a chance at happiness. Forget the flags. Your past is the past. Don’t let it destroy your future.

  • The Dalema. April 1, 2018.
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A Letter To You On New Years

To You,

A new year, a clean slate. The first day of the rest of your life. Time for change, resolutions and goals. People are challenging themselves to make this the best year of their lives.

There are a lot of things you could do differently this year. There are new trips to set, new people to meet, new memories to make. There are higher standards you could hold yourself to. You could read more, volunteer more, eat less pizza and drink more water. New year, new you – etc., etc.

With the new year and all the ways you could be different, there are so many things I hope you never change.

There are so many hopes I hope for you this year:

I hope you keep your heart open. In a world filled with cynics and haters, players and cheaters – I hope you keep hoping. I hope you keep loving. I hope you keep believing.

I hope you give yourself credit. With all the insecurities you allow yourself to believe, the defeat you’ve felt and all the heartache you’ve been through, I hope you give yourself credit for being so strong. You should be proud of the things you’ve been through, because you got through them. Stand tall – be proud of yourself. Give yourself credit. 

I hope you love yourself a little more every day. It amazes me the way you love others. The way you put yourself second to those hurting around you. The way helping them heal, helps you heal. If only you would love yourself the way you love those around youyour heart would be full – regardless of how broken and damaged it may seem.

I hope you keep smiling. Your smile is one of your most beautiful and captivating features. Your laugh is infectious. You light up the room. Keep smiling.

I hope you enjoy the moments. Celebrate the path you’re on. Enjoy where you arewith who you’re with. It’s easy to put yourself on a timeline. You do not need to be married because your friends are. You do not need to be single because your friends are. You do not need to have kids, or not have kids, because of what your family says or because your friends have or haven’t had them. You do not need to be or do anything other than the things on your current path. Do not put yourself down because you ‘aren’t where you thought you would be’ at the age you’re at now. Enjoy the moments.

Most of all, I hope you allow yourself the happiness you deserve. You’re so kind and genuine. You always do whatever it takes to make those you love, and everyone around you, happy. You pray for the happiness of others. How about letting yourself be happy? How about you acknowledge you deserve happiness, too? I hope you learn you do deserve to be happy and happiness will find you – you just need to believe in it. 

With all the things you could do different this year, I hope you realize all the things you shouldn’t change.

Don’t forget to love yourself this year – for who you are and where you’re at in your life, on your own timeline.

Wishing you love and happiness in 2018!

– The Dalema. December 31, 2016. (Republished December 31, 2016)

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One Step At A Time

If you can win his time
You can win his heart.

  • The Dalema. November 1, 2017.
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Raindrop Melody

She closed her eyes
to the sound of the rain
every raindrop in unison
to the sting of the pain
the way it hit the window
with the slightest beating
it reminded her of life
and the history repeating
every drop a reminder
of all that could’ve been
where she went wrong
and where she’d try again
as the thunder didn’t roll
and the lightning didn’t flash
she’d let the raindrops play
like the music of her past
the strumming of the pain
the beating of each drop
the pitter patter of her heart
breath filling silent spots
as she listened along
to the painful melody
she prayed the storm would pass
and she’d sleep for eternity.

  • The Dalema. September 14, 2017.
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Sticky Sweet

The tailgating, sunshine and summer breeze
The ice cold beer running through me
We walked in, you had your hand in mine
That summer day – I think of it all the time

The way the bass pumped through my chest
The pictures we took, so we wouldn’t forget
Dancing to the guitar, your hands wandering
Our bodies lost in ‘Pour some sugar on me’

Like the sounds blasting from the speakers
The memory is still ringing in my ears
I’ll keep craving you and I can’t comprehend
How you cut us off like that concert wristband.

  • The Dalema. January 5, 2017.
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