I’m made of gasoline and every man I love is fire.
– DLM 4/9/16
Happiness comes from within. It’s like a ray of sunshine shooting through the window on a nice day. It’s warmth makes you smile and gives you hope. Yes, sometimes the clouds get in the way. Yes, some days it has to rain. But sometimes there’s a rainbow – and then you get hope again. Happiness comes from within; so let it warm you on a nice day and let yourself hope when it’s cloudy.
– DLM
3/29/15
There are some really great people in this world. It’s an easy thing to forget with all the hate and negativity out there, but it’s true. You just have to have a little faith, keep an open mind and look past the negativity. And, as hard as it is, sometimes it takes opening up your heart in order to see the good in people. It’s scary and risky. But to see the good, to feel the positivity and to allow yourself to smile again – it’s totally worth the risk.
I often find myself wishing for happiness. I try to find it in my possessions, getting lost in keepsakes and memorabilia, I even search for it while recapping the events of the day. Sometimes I’ll scroll through old Facebook pics or dig out an old scrapbook. I’ll think, “How did I let myself fall out of happiness?” Or, “Was I even happy in this pic?”.
In life people think that happiness is a place; when you find it you sit down and you camp there. You don’t want to leave – you fight it, you do. But you end up leaving, you have to.
I don’t think happiness is a place – I think happiness is a moment in time, or rather moments in time that are linked. There are moments of happy that you want to stay in forever, moments that you grasp when you are at your worst. These moments can last, too. People think a moment is a second but really it’s any portion of time; the memory and feelings with that moment are what determine the length of it to you.
I think that’s why people have such a hard time letting go of the past – because what they’re doing is holding on to those built-up moments. Those moments that they want to get lost in, those moments they want to create again, because those moments of happy are sometimes all they have.
There’s no way of recreating the past – of reliving that moment of happy. Those moments are gone and they turn in to memories. So – it’s ok to get lost in the memories; close your eyes and capture those moments. Try to let your mind wander back. When they’re gone, they’re gone forever.
When you find yourself having one of those moments you’ll someday look back on and wish you could be lost in again; make sure you live in the moment. This is it. This is the only moment of this happy that you’ll get. So cherish it, cannon ball in it! Look up from it and think, “Damn. Where did the time go? I didn’t even notice. I was too caught up in being happy!”.
I want to lie in the bed of a pickup truck, gaze up at the stars, and listen to the crickets on a summer night. I won’t need to be kept warm by the arms of a man; I’ll have the humidity that’s left from the warmth of a summer day. I won’t need my friends there to comfort me; I’ll have my thoughts to get lost in. I won’t need the sound of music playing to keep me company; the peepers, owls and the trickle of the stream in the distance will be enough for me. I won’t want the city lights in the background to try and make me feel like I’m close to home; they’ll drown out the space between the stars and I. The light of the moon will keep me safe and the grace of God will keep me sane. That’s all I need right now.
The Dalema 
