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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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Exhale

I Used To Fold My Underwear

I used to fold my underwear
Match the linens line by line
It took a lot of time and patience
But it made me feel organized

I used to roll the windows down
Music playing, wind in my hair
I was never late or in a hurry
Nothing but smiles, no worries or cares

I used to plan out everything
Outfits, trips and my future goals
I could do anything I set my mind to
Go anywhere I wanted to go

I used to trust being ‘good’ was enough
What you give is what you receive
Keep the faith and forget the rest
Happiness would find its way to me

I used to think I’d make a difference
Leave my mark on the world someday
Changing lives and spreading love –
No one would ever forget my name

I used to believe in the believing
Winners don’t quit, cheaters never win
Love yourself and love will find you
Everything happens for a reason

Life has done so much it’s changed me –
Challenges, struggles, loss and pain
And I used to fold my underwear
But I don’t think I ever will again.

  • The Dalema. December 7, 2016
0

Dear John

Dec. 1, 2016

Dear John,

These letters are written – have been written – to end relationships. They’ve been used as goodbyes. This letter, my letter Dear John, is the opposite. This letter is the only way I know how to ask you to come back. The only way I know how to tell you I need you in my life. The only way for me to know that you know I’m right here.

Every day – that’s how often you cross my mind. When something good happens I want to tell you. When something bad happens I want your advice. When something makes me laugh, I want you to experience my smile. The smile that used to be a reason behind yours. Every day I wonder how you are, what you’re doing and if you’re hurting. Not because of me, of course, but because of reasons beyond your control. Every day is another day I want to be there for you.

Dear John, please know you matter to me. You made me feel normal, wanted – beautiful and confident. You gave those gifts to me just by being you. I can’t explain it but you were my lucky charm. I felt my best knowing you were just a phone call or short drive away. I felt happiness knowing I’d see you again. You always had a way of logically reasoning with me. Making sense of things I’ve never been able to make sense of. You were the calm in my life’s storms. I miss that, I miss you. I miss our friendship. Whatever we were, whatever we weren’t – that’s all I want and I only want it with you.

So, Dear John, this letter isn’t a goodbye – it’s a plead. It’s me asking for my chance back. It’s me asking for you. Whatever’s left of you is more than enough for me.

Yours,

D

1

Battle Wounds, Bruises And Perseverance

I reach to pick up the pieces
Getting cut by the broken edges
I don’t know how I got here
It wasn’t supposed to be like this

You give it everything you have
And you fight until the battle’s won
But what if you’ve given all you can?
Yet the war has only just begun

I put up all these walls around me
Making barriers and building shields
I don’t want people to see my bruises
All my failures would be revealed

Love and success are all I’ve ever wanted
The reason behind all this change –
So I pick up the pieces and glue them together
With the hope of being whole again.

  • The Dalema. November 21, 2016
1

Cease And Desist

Here I am
Thinking of you
Again

Wishing you’d have
Saved me
From him

Had you been here
In my life
He wouldn’t have

Here I am
Wishing for you
Wanting us back

This is my plea
My last cry
For help

Please show me
Say something –
Reach out

This is my
Final cry
For you

Show me somehow
Say anything –
Soon.

  • The Dalema. November 15, 2016
0

Part II 

You were like a fine wine
I couldn’t afford
And every time I saw the bottle
It made me want it more

I could see you in my glass
The mood set by candlelight
Scared of what I knew was coming
I told myself ‘afford it tonight’

Tell the server to leave the cork
Then swirl, inhale – take a sip
Close my eyes and let them rest
Indulging in the lusciousness

Getting lost in the shades of grape
Tracing the rim with my fingertips
Before I knew it the bottle was empty –
Leaving purple stains on my lips

  • The Dalema. November 6, 2016
0

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