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The Dalema

Finding The Woman I'm Meant To Be

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Exhale

Versatile Blogger Award

I want to thank shruti502 for nominating me for this award. I am so honored and humbled to have been thought of for this. I’m a simple woman with an open heart filled with words that never stop flowing. Thank you so much for the nomination! 

I also request you to stop by shruti502’s blog. I enjoy promoting fellow bloggers and am so overjoyed to have been promoted myself! 

Rules:

  1. Display the award on your blog

  2. Thank the person that has nominated you

  3. Share 7 facts about yourself

  4. Nominate and link other bloggers of your choice

Facts about me: 

I just turned 30 and am more inspired now than I’ve ever been. I intend on publishing my first book this year. Stay tuned! 

My first (and only thus far) freelance article now has over 70k shares. Feel free to check it out: I Want Chivalry & No Games, Which Basically Means I Hate Dating Today

I have two amazing pups who are both turning 10 this year. They’re my world and my heart.

I was a pageant queen my senior year of high school – but it didn’t come without a cost. I was anorexic for eight years. 

My outgoing personality and humorous ways hide my insecurities. 

It took me nine years to finish college and I am NOT a doctor (BA in Journalism and Mass Communications with a Marketing Minor).

My biggest fear in life is being forgotten. That’s one of the main reasons I write – so even if I’m long gone, my words can live on forever. 

Nominations: 
Please check out the following blogs if you haven’t already, and be prepared to be amazed by the unique writing and characteristics of each blogger. I hope you enjoy their blogs just as much as I have. (Drumroll please…..) Here are my nominees for the 2017 Versatile Blogger Award:

Eyes + Words

Jay Colby

Quas Production

Palmwriting

Kristina Gallo

Consciousness creates reality

shruti502

If they have the strength to walk away,
you need to find the strength
to let them
let you
go.

  • The Dalema. May 3, 2017.

Why I Can’t Wait To Be 30

Here’s to my twenties
Here’s to the old me
Cheers to the end of a decade
Cheers to turning 30

Here’s to those years that broke me
Here’s to the years I found myself
Cheers to the friends who stuck around
And to those who let themselves out

Here’s to the lessons I’ve learned
Here’s to the love I found
Cheers to having happiness
When hope wasn’t around

Here’s to loving my body
Here’s to knowing my worth
Cheers to the mistakes I dated
And for never putting me first

Here’s to all the education
Here’s to student loans
Cheers to old careers
And the cars I used to own

Here’s to my first apartment
Here’s to my first home
Cheers to friends and family
For trusting me on my own

Here’s to societies expectations
Here’s to body image pressure
Cheers to no longer giving a fuck
About the size I measure

Here’s to all the heartbreak
Here’s to all the pain
Cheers to all the blessings
Cheers to the ‘might-have-been’s

Here’s to all the wrong paths
Here’s to all the dead ends
Cheers to finding where I’m meant to be
And knowing how to start again

Here’s to attempting adulthood
Here’s to Friday nights in
Cheers to enjoying the little things
Cheers to understanding who I am

Here’s to the end of an era
Here’s to ending insecurities
Cheers to going with the flow
I’m the best version of me

Cheers to all that’s in the past
The hardest years? They’re long gone!
Here’s to the end of my twenties –
The best is yet to come!

  • The Dalema. April 30, 2017.

Two-Dimensional Silhouette 

That’s exactly why it didn’t work.

You don’t fall in love. You walk to it.
Hand in hand, eyes wide open.
You talk about the path you’re taking.
You trust the person to walk the path with you.

And you walk in – together.
Side by side. Hand in hand.
Eyes. Wide. Open.
One chosen step at a time – together.

Otherwise, you’re just walking alone –
following like a shadow.
A shadow they don’t even see.

Shadows fall and shadows fade.
Love walks and never alone.

  • The Dalema. January 16, 2017.

An Early Spring

It’s hard to explain. The closest description I can think of is when you’re standing outside on one of those unexpected spring days. The early spring days when it’s still supposed to be super cold and snowy but it’s sunny and 60. And then it happens; a strong breeze covers you at the exact same time the clouds part and the sun shines down and warms your face. Even though the snow is still lingering on the ground and the road is dusty from the combination of dirt and salt, you smell spring in the air. You feel the warmth on your skin. You lose yourself in possibility.

I wasn’t skydiving or riding the waves. I wasn’t reading a book or claiming my million dollar prize – I was just living. I was allowing myself to smile without wondering why. I was just being. And as I was just being, he crossed my mind. My pivotal moment crossed my mind. So I decided to send him a message. I said hello, I wished him well and I apologized. I apologized for something I never realized I was sorry for. And you know what? He answered. Right away. He didn’t act odd, rude or interrupted. He acted with kindness – he answered like a friend. He answered the same way he let me go; respectfully.

In the short conversation that followed, I found myself smirking. Not in a giddy, flirty, ‘oh my God we are taking again!’ kind of way. I was smirking because we had nothing to talk about. I was smirking because of the nothing I felt for him. I was smirking because I was grateful for all my unanswered prayers.

So we said what everyone says and never means – ‘I’m glad we can be friends’, ‘let’s catch up soon’, etc., etc. All the things so many people say when they know they’ll never say anything to one another again. Because there’s nothing left to say; the apologies have been forgiven, the feelings have passed and the people have changed. The time has moved on and so has he – so have I.

What I felt tonight is better than happiness. It was like standing in the warmth of the sun, covered by a breeze on an unexpected early spring day. My pivotal moment; the heartache and pain – all the unknown reasons, all the unanswered prayers – finally made sense.

I was at peace.

I had clarity.

I had closure.

  • The Dalema. January 14, 2017.
    © Photo Credit Brittany Hensel Photography

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